EP #086 - Humility and Hiding Look Almost Identical From the Outside

Nearly every CEO I meet tells me some version of the same three things: "I don't like social media," "I don't want the spotlight," and "I don't have any ego." 

And I believe them about all three. These are operators and builders who got into building companies because they wanted to solve a problem, and they didn't start a company to become internet famous.

So when they tell me they don't want attention, I take them at their word. But I also know their discomfort with being visible is quietly becoming one of the most expensive problems in their company. And the story they're telling themselves about why they stay invisible deserves a closer look.

"If I Build It, They Will Come" Has a Shelf Life

The arc is almost always the same. A CEO builds a company from nothing. In the early days, the work spoke for itself. The CEO closed the first ten customers personally, hired through a personal network, raised a seed round because an investor met them and said yes.

Somewhere in that early stretch, the CEO starts to believe something. "If I keep doing great work, the right people will find me." And for a while, that belief is accurate. Great work got them their first customers, their first hires, their first check. So they internalized a formula where quality work equals recognition.

But the "quality work equals recognition" formula has a shelf life. That formula works at 10 employees, mostly works at 30, and starts cracking by 50. By 100, quality work alone can't generate enough awareness to sustain growth, and by 200, relying on the old formula actively works against you because the market doesn't discover companies at that scale. 

At that point, you have to go find the market.

One of my clients found out how expensive that formula becomes when it stops working. He had 15 years in his industry, was deeply technical, and was loved by his customers. He'd built the company to about 80 employees entirely on referrals and personal network, and he was losing to a competitor who'd been in the market for three years with a product that most people in the space considered weaker.

The competitor's CEO was everywhere: LinkedIn, podcasts, conferences, trade publications. The market perceived that company as the leader, and my client, despite 15 years of deeper expertise, was still waiting to be discovered.

Most Leaders Haven't Asked Themselves This Question

A lot of leaders frame their invisibility as humility. "I'm just not that kind of person. I'd rather let the work speak for itself." On the surface, that sounds admirable, like integrity, even.

But there's a meaningful difference between humility and hiding.

Humility says, "It's not about me" and that's a value I have enormous respect for. The best leaders I've been around, including during my five years on nuclear submarines, carried genuine humility. They cared about the mission and made sure their team got the credit.

But hiding sounds similar on the surface. Hiding says, "I'm uncomfortable, so I'm going to call it humility and move on." The difference matters because one is a leadership value and the other is avoidance.

The CEOs I work with often haven't interrogated which one they're doing. They know putting themselves out there feels self-promotional, feels like ego, and because they have genuine integrity, they opt out entirely.

But opting out entirely is a different kind of self-protection, and it carries a cost their organization pays.

Your Team Needs You 

I saw leaders confusing comfort with principle for the first time on nuclear submarines, years before I started working with CEOs. On a nuclear submarine, the Captain sets the course, shapes the culture, and represents the crew to the outside world. The Captain doesn't spend time in the engine room turning wrenches, because the job requires being visible to the crew and to the admirals evaluating the boat.

During my service, I watched officers who were exceptional technicians struggle when they got promoted because they kept operating like junior officers. They stayed in the engine room because that's where they felt comfortable and where they'd earned respect in the past. 

But the promotion had moved them into a role that required visibility, and they kept avoiding that part of the job.

A CEO at 100 employees who stays publicly invisible is stuck in the same pattern: the engine room feels safe, but the company needs a leader who's willing to be seen. That leader's reputation needs to reach the people the product alone can't reach.

Your sales team is closing deals against a competitor whose CEO has 50,000 LinkedIn followers, your recruiters are competing for talent against companies with more recognizable leadership, and your investors are trying to get you into rooms only to realize that when they mention your name, nobody knows it.

Once you start framing visibility as "my team needs me to be seen" instead of "I have to promote myself," something changes. The discomfort doesn't go away, but the reason to push through the discomfort becomes clear.

Invisibility Is a Decision

Your invisibility is a decision you've been making by default, not by design. You've been telling yourself a story. "I'm humble, I'm heads-down, I let the work speak for itself." That story has protected you from the discomfort of being visible. But it hasn't protected your organization.

And here's why I know you can handle this part of the job: you pitched investors when you had nothing, made hard calls when nobody else would, and built something from zero when the odds were against you. Being visible is easier than all of that. It just feels different, and different isn't the same as harder.

I have no interest in challenging humility as a value. The world needs more humble leaders.

But invisibility is a choice that comes with a cost your team pays, your investors pay, and your customers pay every day you stay in the engine room.

— Justin

Justin M. Nassiri | Founder & CEO
M: 650.353.1138 | E: [email protected]
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